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Taking your child to a funeral for the first time can be difficult, but it can also be a great way for them to say goodbye to a loved one. This article explains four simple things you should do before the funeral, from explaining what will happen to find them a useful task to do.

1. Think carefully about whether they should attend

There’s no right or wrong answer as to whether any specific child should attend a funeral, as it all depends on their level of maturity, closeness to the deceased, and attitude towards death. Think carefully about whether your child will be able to cope with the funeral, and whether attending would be a meaningful experience for them. If your child is older, it might be a good idea to give them the choice of whether to attend or not, as long as you’re willing to respect their decision either way.

In making the decision, your child might have a lot of questions. Take care to answer them sensitively, and ensure that they know a funeral is simply an opportunity to say goodbye to a loved one, tell stories about them, and participate in any spiritual traditions you might have. It’s also a good idea to ensure they fully understand death, and what it means to be dead.

2. Make sure they know what will happen

A child’s first funeral can be confusing and strange, and knowing in advance what will happen will be reassuring and useful. If you’re planning the funeral, you’ll be able to explain exactly what will happen—who will speak, what readings and songs will happen, where the casket will be placed, who will attend, and anything else you think is relevant. If you’re not planning a funeral, you can give your child just a general overview of how funerals typically go.

You might also want to explain other aspects of death and funerals—for example, what cremation is (Grief Healing has some good tips on explaining cremation to kids) and what will be done with your loved one’s ashes. All of this will help your child to process the funeral properly and have a meaningful experience.

3. Give them a task to do

If you’re planning the funeral, give your child a small job or task to help them to feel engaged and involved, as well as provide a distraction from their sadness. For a confident child, this could be reading your loved one’s favourite poem or making a small speech, while other children might want to hand out orders of service or simply take a special flower or a drawing to place on the casket.

If another relative is planning the funeral, it’s still a nice idea to ask if your child can do something, even if it’s just choosing some flowers to display during the service.

4. Help them deal with their feelings during the funeral

Funerals can bring up a lot of strange feelings, so be sure to let your child know that it’s okay to laugh, cry, or experience a mix of emotions. Make sure that you show your own emotions rather than suppressing them, as it can make your child feel more comfortable with your own feelings.

However, you may want to have a backup plan in the event your child feels overwhelmed by their emotions. Bereavement Advice suggests having a friend at the funeral who didn’t know your loved one as well, so they can take your child outside if necessary. Speak to them in advance and let them know if you need them to step in.

Help Family and Friends Cope with Your Cremation Plans

End of life planning has become popular. There are many options available to meet your budget needs and your practical end-of-life needs, such as cremation. However, one thing you may not think about is how to help your family and friends cope with your final plans. Here are some tips that can help your friends and family cope with the grief that comes with this difficult and personal choice in your life.

Visit a death Doula

Grief and coping with loss is a difficult issue and is personal for each person in your family. To confront the issues of grief your family and friends may have, you may consider a death doula. Death doulas offer a special end-of-life service. Death doulas offer help with the emotional transition that comes with the end of life.

Death doulas help with identifying signs and different phases of death. If you have a terminal illness, this service may be vital. By understanding these signs, you can better prepare for how to transition with them. This makes the grief easier to handle. Doulas also help with the grief process after you are gone. Doulas can also offer sitting vigil with loved ones during your last moments.

Learn about cremation vessels

Cremation vessels are no longer limited to simple urns. Companies now offer different options for cremains. These options range from eco-friendly options to jewellery. For many people, the idea of what will happen to you after the cremation can be shocking or scary to think about.

Consider sitting down with your loved ones to discuss what options they would prefer. Loved ones may have vessel ideas in mind. Listen to their ideas. These can become very personal, and your cremation vessel can become a way for your loved ones to cope with the emotional and physical loss after you pass on.

Mention and discuss different options that are pleasing to you. Discuss the various options of memorial items available. Some items, like jewellery, may make your loved ones uncomfortable. Begin asking them what they are comfortable with and offer them options and brochures. Try to give them as many options as possible. Remember, they may connect the idea of cremation vessels with their grief.

When you are ready to discuss your cremation plans, consider meeting with each family member or friend.

If you are planning for what will happen when you die, then you need to decide whether to be buried or cremated. While some people prefer a burial, others find that cremation is a better choice for them. When might you decide that cremation is right for you?

Cremation is a common alternative to traditional burial. It is both personal and cultural. Many people choose cremation due to the lower cost while others choose it due to traditional burial concerns. Regardless of why you choose this method, you may not know everything about the process.

Here are a few benefits of cremation that can shed some light on the practice, process, and reasons you should consider it as an option for your end-of-life planning.

Burial Is Still an Option

One of the common misconceptions associated with cremation is that burial is no longer an option. For many people, this can be a deal-breaker if they would like to be alongside family members or if they feel a graveside service is necessary for proper emotional closure. The truth is, burial is still an option and can be done in several ways.

For example, you may choose to have your cremains buried in an urn in a traditional family burial plot. You can also have a full graveside service for this. In this case, a rental casket is used and kept closed. The entire graveside service is done normally with the cremains buried at the location within a few days of the service.

Expedited Services

Cremation offers expedited burial and related services. Many cremations only take a few days. You also avoid processes such as embalming which can add time and cost to the entire process of burial. When cremation is done, the entire process can be completed in less than a week.

If there is no need for you to have a longer period of time, or if you need to have the memorial service before family members leave the area for their own homes, then cremation may be ideal.

Columbarium for Families

One reason that many people do not choose cremation is that they want to be buried with their family members. Some families have spent a lot of money on family burial plots, monuments, and even mausoleums. This makes the choice for cremation a more personal one and one that can be overlooked quickly.

If you do not already have a family burial plot or site, and your family members agree to cremation when their times come, then a columbarium is an option. Columbariums are indoor or outdoor structures that offer niches for urns. They are unique to cremation. You can purchase several niches to place your urn as well as family members, so you can remain in a form of a family plot.

Ecological Options for Remains

Ecological concerns may play a factor in why people do not choose cremation. For example, some people would like no chemicals used and natural burial. With that in mind, they tend to overlook cremation.

If ecology is a concern, there are several unique ecological options for cremains. For example, cremains can be placed in coral reef areas to help with coral reef establishment and fish life. You can also choose to have your cremains placed in an ecological container. These containers are made to biodegrade and some can have seeds of some kind. The cremains mix with the seeds and help plant life and trees. Talk with your cremation provider to learn about more ecological options.

If you feel cremation is an ideal choice for your end-of-life planning or for your loved one, contact Cremations Only. We can help you with planning your service, choosing an urn, and we can answer any other questions you have regarding your specific cremation planning. We can also discuss questions regarding the grieving process for the family members you leave behind and how cremation can be explained to younger children.

Death is inevitable, and so is grief. The loss of a loved one stirs different emotions among the surviving members. Consequently, the personal coping mechanisms of grief vary significantly. However, people have a few basic universal strategies to cope with the demise of a friend or family member.

Discover four basic tips that can help you during the bereavement and grief stages.

1. Allow the emotions

The experience of losing your loved one is often traumatic and can leave an empty void. However, letting yourself to feel this loss will accelerate the recovery process. Do not suppress the feelings of sadness, betrayal, anger and loneliness that death can bring.

Soak in these emotions, cry if you feel like it, revert to solitude if you must and do all other things that you feel like doing. You might also feel like you are going crazy during the grief period. Just know that this is normal and is okay; most likely, your body is overwhelmed with emotional baggage.

2. Know that grieving is a process

Grief is a process that has no time limit. The emotions that you feel after the death of your loved one are unique and have no duration deadline. However, the type of emotions you feel often dictate different stages of grief. These stages are:

• Denial: At first, the news of your loved one demise is unfathomable. You often find it difficult to realize your loved one’s death is true and remain numb oblivious of the event.
• Anger: At this stage, you will naturally feel enraged and angry as the truth of the situation begins to sink in. You could project the rage to yourself, a loved one who has abandoned you, doctors who have failed to heal your loved one or even God.
• Bargaining: Like many other survivors, you will find yourself trying to negotiate with a higher power to cope with loss.
• Sadness: At this stage of grief, you feel an overpowering melancholy that is natural. It won’t continue forever in most circumstances. However, you will realize and believe that life will never be the same again.
• Acceptance: Here, you will come to grips with the loss’s finality and move on with your life. While this stage is known as acceptance, this doesn’t imply you won’t revisit some of the stages above from time to time; rather, the sorrow of your loss will be more controllable.

3. Seek support

Sometimes during the grieving period, you might want to be left alone. However, you should create a support group around you in case you need them. At least, reach out to friends, relatives, ministers and possibly a therapist. If needed, these people can provide emotional support as well as physical assistance.

4. Keep the memories alive

You have several ways to keep the memories of your loved one alive. For instance, you could plant a tree or garden as a tribute to the person who died or honour the deceased in a meaningful way, such as participating in a charity run or walk.

You can also make a memorial box or folder with keepsakes of the deceased. Include memories, photos, phrases or anything else you choose. If you want, write the person a note. You might wish to express your emotions, say anything you would like to say, or thank your loved one for being a part of your life in it.

When you organise a funeral for a loved one, you have to decide how to dress their body in the coffin. While some people set out what they want to wear in their funeral plans, others don’t get the chance to make this decision in advance. You’ll have to do it for them.

You can dress your loved one in their own clothes or you can pick a burial gown if you prefer. Read on to learn more about these options.

Why dress your loved one in their own clothes?

Some people dress the deceased in their own clothes. They might pick out a piece of clothing or outfit that their loved one had an attachment to. Or, they pick something that they associate with the person.

For example, you can choose clothes that you know meant something to the deceased. A man might have had a nice suit that they wore on special occasions. A lady might have had a favourite dress. You might feel that it is appropriate that they wear these items on their final journey.

Or you might pick out something that you associate with your loved one. You could choose clothing that reflects their hobbies or job. For example, you could dress a football fan in their team shirt. A dedicated nurse or police officer could go to their rest dressed in their uniforms.

Even if you don’t have a favourite or obvious outfit to use here, you can still use the deceased’s own clothes. People often go for smart or smart casual outfits; however, you can choose any items you think are appropriate.

Even though your loved one will be cremated, you get some benefits from dressing them in their own clothes. For a start, you’ll get some additional comfort at this difficult time.

It’s an honour to be involved in choosing someone’s final outfit. You get the chance to show your love and respect one last time. You’ll know that you were there for them until the end. You might find it a little easier to get some closure.

Plus, if you have an open coffin before the service and invite friends and family to viewings, then they’ll also appreciate seeing the deceased in a familiar outfit. While this is a sad time, they will also take some comfort from the care you take.

Why dress your loved one in a burial gown

While some people appreciate the chance to dress their loved ones, others prefer to use a burial gown either through choice or necessity. Your funeral director can source these gowns for you, or you can order custom-made gowns if you prefer.

These gowns often look like nightwear. They are made from soft and comfortable materials. You may simply prefer to dress your loved one in a gown that makes them look like they are sleeping.

They are also a good option if you can’t choose an outfit from the deceased’s own wardrobe. Or, you might want to keep a special outfit as a keepsake.